Simplifying life, business and everything in between.
You are here: Home / Archives for fear

Just let go

20 March, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Let go
Humans have an amazing ability to hold on to things – belongings, grudges, fears – that don’t bring about any positive outcome. In fact, we spend an inordinate amount of time clinging to these things when we would be well served to simply let go. Is this easy? No. Rarely will you find that the important stuff is easy.

You cannot control everything

Control is a myth. Every time humans try to control something disaster results. How many times have the human race tried to control nature with catastrophic consequences? Katrina. Monsanto…

The more we try to control, the more we lose in the process. We hoard goods we don’t need. We modify our food supply. We divert rivers. We manipulate others. To what end?

We significantly complicate ourselves by clinging to stuff. Yet, ultimately we don’t need stuff.

You will find, if you ponder things deeply, that those things that frustrate you most are insignificant in the grand scheme.

Possessions both physical and mental are restraints upon your freedom. By clinging to regret, anger, jealousy and bitterness you condemn yourself to suffering.

“It’s only after you’ve lost everything … that you’re free to do anything.”  - Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

Your brain’s primary function is not storage

Your brain is an analytical tool. It is not a storage device. Consider the CPU – or brain – of a computer, it does the processing not the storage. Storage in the world of computing is left to other devices such as hard drives and solid state storage. Were the CPU to be used for storage as well as processing its capacity and capabilities would be exceeded with detrimental results.

Your brain is no different. Should you try to hold on to everything you will soon find your brain is full and can no longer complete the tasks it was designed for. (I am obviously simplifying the brain’s memory functions for this discussion – please bear with me.)

Put simply, reducing the clutter in your brain can help you think more clearly. When you are able to think more clearly, you can be more efficient and creative, and best of all, easier to get along with.

It’s time to drop the emotional baggage

If you are clinging to negative memories and feelings it is time to let go. It won’t be easy. You must understand that this baggage will eventually smother you. To be free you must let go.

Forget it

I do not have the answers regarding what you will have to do to let go. This is a very personal journey. Here are some ideas that might help you:

As always, search for the simple in everything. You will find that letting go is simpler than holding on.

Filed Under: Life Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Exactly what are you scared of? (or how to control the flinch)

20 February, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Microphone

Did you know that most people are more afraid of public speaking than of death? I find that rather amusing.

Firstly, I don’t think there is anything at all to fear in getting up in front of people and speaking. Honestly, what is the worst that can happen?

Secondly, why is everyone so afraid of death? Is it not simply part of being? You live then you die. The two are inexorably linked. Just as there cannot be up without down, there cannot be life without death. Seems to me that people are both afraid of living and of dying. How unfortunate.

So, what’s the solution?

Perhaps you just need to face your fears head on. Perhaps it’s time to control your most primal response – the flinch.

My introduction to the flinch

Tony Blauer

Mr. Tony Blauer

When I visited the US of A in 2007, I participated in a seminar with self-defence instructor Tony Blauer. Mr Blauer – aside from being a great guy – is very switched on when it comes to the psychological and physiological aspects of stressful situations. He has investigated numerous violent crimes and tested and retested defence theories. His SPEAR system is based on utilising the flinch in a positive manner. In effect, he coaches you to flinch forward. Instead of contracting into a protective shell you explode forward. This was the first time I encountered anyone mention the flinch.

I have practiced various martial arts since the age of 8 and no one had ever talked about the flinch before. I was immediately intrigued. The beauty was the simplicity of the concept and its application. By controlling the flinch and flinching forward you are able to negative the attack of your opponent and position yourself for a counter-attack. The elegance of the concept also means it is not encapsulated in some flowery philosophy. Techniques from any martial arts system could follow Blauer’s controlled flinch response. Simplicity in action.

Why you should control your flinch response

The natural flinch response is a negative or backwards movement. Think about how you close your eyes when something flashes close to your face or how you jump back when exposed to a loud CRASH! The flinch might save us in some scenarios but it certainly holds us back too.

The Flinch cover

Cover of "The Flinch"

Recently, a new e-book has been launched. It’s free. It’s gone viral. If you don’t know about it, you should. It’s called The Flinch and is written by Julien Smith. This book dissects how the flinch holds us back from achieving what we want and teaches us how to control the flinch. The book presents a number of exercises to train your flinch response including taking cold showers and dropping cups from height. It’s all designed to show you that outcomes are often not as bad as you think they will be.

Control your flinch response and you control your automatic responses to external stimuli. Imagine how your life could be simplified if you had more control over your reactions. What if you didn’t always fly off the handle when someone frustrated you or didn’t scream at the sight of a spider or, well, you get the idea…

Read The Flinch. It’s free.

Filed Under: Life Tagged With: , , , ,